In less than two weeks, I will be charged with teaching another round of college students the insights associated with professional journalism and television production. I find myself in a bizarre place in my head.
At first when the summer hit, I couldn't get used to not going to work. I know, I know.. boo hoo poor me.. but seriously. When you've spent your entire adult life living from deadline to deadline and suddenly you have none, it is freakish. Here I couldn't wait to relax and unwind, but I found myself feeling strangely lost and quite surprised at feeling that way. What on earth was happening? Well, I asked around and apparently it happens to all first-time professors who once worked in "the real world." We have to find different motivations for getting out of bed in the morning other than having to be at work by a certain time. Interesting. I guess it's one thing to have two or three weeks off in an extended vacation and another thing entirely when the time away is more like three months.
I learned something about myself in this summer experience. For all the times I've complained about being overworked, overly busy, and obviously stressed out, I found out I'm actually happier when I'm productive.. perhaps not to the point of hysterics, but a nice steady pace of things to do. And so. By early-to-mid July, I rolled up my sleeves and started knocking out little projects here and there. You know, all those things you mean to get to but never seem to have the time. That said, I also gave myself the license to truly unwind mentally and physically. It took some getting used to, but I eventually adjusted. I still had a grad school class to contend with, but the pacing was much slower than the usual semester. It simply paled in comparison.
And now, here I am, happily adjusted to not working. I'm content. I'm sleeping well and I feel good. But here we are. Suddenly, it's time to work again. My mind and body are fighting me.
Honestly, though. I can't stand listening to myself whine. Somebody please shut me up, hand me a textbook, and tell me to put a lid on it. This is hardly a problem. I'm simply experiencing the last gasp of summer break.
I must, however, pose the question. How can the "fall semester" be starting when it's still 105 degrees outside? It may be fall on the books but it most certainly does not feel like fall outside. But that's another topic for another day...
