On this, the Memorial Day holiday, I should be a mindful, patriotic American citizen and center my thoughts on the many lives lost serving in the US Armed Forces. But no.
Instead, I'm dwelling on sleep... or to be more precise... the lack thereof. I feel like my eyes are open too wide and my eyeballs will fall out of their sockets. My stomach is a little tight and jittery. My mouth is dry and cottony. I have a slight, dull headache in the center of my forehead. I'm subconsciously grinding my teeth. I can't hold a thought for more than a few seconds. In other words, it's that horrid feeling we get from staying up all night only to see the bright, sun-filled sky of the new day before us. And why am I suffering so? Here's what's really dumb about it. I did it to myself. Deliberately. I made myself stay up all night. I'll explain.
Since the end of the spring semester (I am, after all, both a professor and a graduate student), I've allowed myself to catch up on rest as my body called for it. No alarm. No agenda. Very few obligations on the calendar. I was mentally taxed and I took several days to sleep lots and lots to let my body fully recover and rest up.
Now, you see, here's where it gets insane.
I spent five miserable years working on overnights at one of the prestigious 24-hour cable news networks only to find myself worn out, depressed, and a tad psychotic. I absolutely despised working the graveyard shift. HATED it. It was so hard on me. So I left that job to be away from the glamour shift of the living dead. And now that I'm free to sleep however and whenever I want, my body goes back to those stupid hateful hours. WHICH MAKES NO SENSE. It's completely idiotic but there were nights this past week where I found myself staying up until 4a or 5a only to sleep well after noon. There was one day I woke up at 530pm. That's not an exaggeration. I just slept the entire day away. I woke up with my head pounding to the tune of a migrane. I thought it was going to blow up.
And so, you see, my thinking is that by NOT going to bed at 5a, I'll make myself stay up and go to sleep at a normal hour tonight and wake up at a normal hour tomorrow morning. In theory. Nevermind, I'll be completely useless today. I ought to not operate heavy machinery but somebody's got to mow the lawn. I promise not to fire up the grill. I'm sure that would end badly. Any cookout feast will have to involve me imposing on somebody else.
I got this idea by remembering how I addressed jet lag a couple of years ago when I flew to Greece. I arrived in Athens at their 10am. And while I would've loved to get some shuteye, instead I went to a darling sidewalk cafe in Plaka and had an amazing lunch. I followed that with a trek up to the Acropolis. I followed that by getting all cleaned up and cute and having dinner at the rooftop restaurant of a gorgeous historic hotel in Constitution Square. There was a view of the Parthenon lit up beautifully against the night sky. It was an absolutely magical day that kicked off an incredible three week vacation. And if I had gone in my hotel room and crawled in bed when I first got off the plane, it would have never happened.
So today will be my domestic jet lag day in hopes of resetting my body clock. I must find ways to make the day equally adventurous even if I am on this side of the pond. I won't be climbing the Citadel of Athens but perhaps I can start today's adventure with a nice, long bike ride. I wonder if sleep deprivation triggers vertigo. Ugh my eyeballs. Did I mention they feel like they're going to fall out of my head?
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